Generation Z is more reliant on their friends than millennials when it comes to asking for dating advice: 80% admit that getting advice from their friends is important, according to a study by Hinge. Although 7 in 10 singles (74%) aged 18-24 would like to feel more comfortable making dating decisions on their own, the reality is that they are 30% more likely than millennials to feel stressed if they can’t talk to their friends about dating.
Half of Generation Z Hinge users admit that they don’t always tell the truth when offering their opinions. Of these, 54% don’t share how they truly feel so as not to hurt their friends’ feelings, while 47% do so because they don’t see their friends as ready for their honest feedback. But it’s not just friends: 84% of users admit that they are not completely honest and hide some details when asking friends for dating advice.
With this premise, it’s no wonder that the majority of Generation Z (86%) have regretted taking their friends’ dating advice, admitting that it led them to make the wrong decision. In addition to dishonesty, more than half of Hinge’s Generation Z singles say that the person they turn to most for dating advice is not currently in a healthy relationship.
Against this backdrop, Hinge’s Director of Relationship Science, Logan Ury, offers advice on why we should mute that group chat once and for all and take back control of our dating lives:
- Turn to your friends for encouragement, not advice. What are the aspects of dating you want to work on? Are you too picky? Not picky enough? Do you want to date more? Do you want to avoid people with anxious attachments? Do the inner work to determine your dating goals. Then share those goals with your friends and ask them to help you stay on track. That way, they are supporting you on your journey, not projecting their priorities onto you. Think of them as your cheerleaders: people who motivate you to reach your goals, not your coaches or advisors.
- Connect with yourself. 53% of Gen Z singles on Hinge say they wish they felt more comfortable making dating decisions without asking their friends for input because they struggle to know what to do. One of the best ways to change your dating habits is to understand what’s holding you back in the first place. Check out books and podcasts on dating, attachment theory, what makes love last and more. Consider therapy to learn more about yourself. The more in tune you are with your own feelings, the less you rely on your friends to know what to do.
- Instead of sending a message through the group, put it on paper. Don’t ask your friends for their opinion before sending the message. Write in a diary instead of revealing all the details of the date over Sunday afternoon beers. Learn to talk to yourself, rather than making your dating decisions in a group.
- Your friends are not dating experts, but they are experts on you. When you know you’re interested in someone and you invite your friends to meet your new love interest, instead of asking your friends, “What did you think?”, ask them, “How did you see me with my date? Was I comfortable or self-censoring? Was I relaxed or tense? They are able to pick up on things that you might miss, especially if you are in love with your new partner. You should choose someone who brings out the best in you.
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